What was the first thing you thought of when you got out of bed today?
Just a few years ago I used to wake up and lay there wondering what the heck I was getting out of bed for, paralyzed by an illusion of confusion and a serious lack of clarity about what I wanted to do with my life. ‘How will I ever get all of this potent creativity out of my body and into the world?’ I thought.
The long and short of it is this: I used to dread. waking. up.
Can you relate?
Have you ever had a period of your life where you didn’t want to get out of bed? In fact, you may have wanted to stay there all day?
I know what that feels like!
And now, I know what it feels like to wake up and have the very first thought come to my mind be ‘Thank you, Thank you, Thank you’ as I wrap my arms around my body and say to myself, ‘I love you Laura.. I love you sooo much! I am whole complete and perfect, I am healthy wealthy and wise.’
I’ve always dreamed of being a singer. Truth is, over the years I’ve gone back and forth with myself about whether my voice is ‘good enough’ or ‘really good’ or ‘something worthy of sharing with others through singing.’
I remember in my early 20′s I was hanging out with some hip-hop artists here in Buffalo. I just happened to be at their home studio one day and they needed a female to vocalize a hook for them.
I said ‘I’ll do it!’ even though I’d never done anything like that before. I did it because I knew that somewhere within me, I desired to share my singing voice with the world, and also, that some part of me knew that my voice was worthy of sharing.
As I stood in that closet, mic in front of me, door closed, the producer told me through the headphones what to sing and how to sing it. As I began to sing, my voice went in and out of tune. What I wanted to express, how I wanted to sound, how I could HEAR the sound in my heart wasn’t translating as the air came out of my lungs and mouth into the microphone.
The room outside of the closet, a.k.a. vocal booth, was filled with young men and I could hear them giggling. I felt embarrassed, like I wanted to hide. I remember second guessing that knowing inside of me that said, ‘Your singing voice is worthy of sharing.’
For the next 6 years, even though they did use one of my vocal takes on the album, I hid my singing voice; I kept it to myself, my car and my shower. I told myself that I was stronger as a behind the scenes artist manager type, and that’s where I focused my energy.
I went to NYC in my mid 20′s and worked with a few performing artists to help develop their careers. That voice that knows that I HAVE IT started to speak up within me. I found myself thinking, ‘I can do this! I can be the one on stage, I KNOW what to do, I KNOW I’ve got ‘it’.’
However, the fear of not being good enough (to make the grade.. basically to get approval from others) had taken over and I didn’t yet have the courage to step into my knowing.
When I turned 30 I was in the midst of what I call my ‘next level healing journey.’ I was learning to step out of victim mode and into my power. I began noticing what I was focusing on.
I started asking myself: Am I focusing on what I want or what I don’t want?
As open-minded, aware and conscious as I thought I was, I realized that more than 50% of the time I was thinking about what I don’t want, what wasn’t working and feeling the gap between where I was and where I wanted to be as some type of cruel joke that the ‘Universe’ was playing on me.
I decided it was time for a major perspective shift!
Instead of wondering HOW I was going to do it, I began to focus more on the gifts that I dreamed of sharing with the world.
Instead of focusing on the gap, I started focusing on the next step as it became very clear to me that BABY STEPS BECOME QUANTUM LEAPS!
This shift in perspective has made a tremendous difference in my life. I am so thankful for the synchronicities and guidance that continue to lead me into an empowered state of mind, body, and soul.
What helps you get and stay empowered? What’s a step you’ve taken that has been more significant than you could’ve imagined in turning your life around?
I want to know! Please share in the comments section below.
So much love,