6 ways to support yourself through this common human experience

Honestly, I’ve been feeling a little lack luster the last two days, sleepy, a bit uninspired. Do you ever feel that way? Do you ever wonder, ‘What the heck is going on with me? I don’t feel very inspired or energized, my feet are dragging and I just feel like laying out in the sun or sleeping a little longer in my bed!’

And then you take a moment to look at your life and it dawns on you, that you’re in the midst of another one of life’s big transitions.

Transition is a part of life for every human being. At one time or another we are transitioning through relationships, in and out of different projects, businesses, work environments, school, moving to a new home, new state, new country, letting go so that we can let in more of what we truly desire.

Through the years I’ve noticed that whenever I’m going through a transition, I usually start by wondering, ‘What the heck is going on with me?!’ And then I stop, breathe, take a step back and look at my life and I remember that, ‘Ohhh… I’m in the midst of another transition! That’s what it is.’

I remind myself that transition (whether it’s something we’re super stoked for or something that causes us pain) is usually uncomfortable. It brings up our stuff and has us living on our edge.

And this is where I’m at today. I chose to let go of a man that I love because the relationship was only working 65% of the time, and while my heart is heavy at times and I miss him in my life, I know it’s the best and most courageous thing I can do right now. My daughter and I will also be moving out of the home we’ve shared with my parents these last 2 years into a new home of our own, and although this is so exciting and I can hardly wait, I feel some sadness in my heart and a little fear about what this new experience will be like.

So… the last few days, as I’ve felt the energy of transition within my heart and being, here’s what I’m giving myself the space to do:
-Breathe
-Feel my feelings as they come up
-Go to bed earlier at night and rest a few minutes longer in the morning
-Go for walks and experience the abundance of spring and life all around me
-Reach out to a friend for support, love, tea
-Be tender and gentle with myself

And now I’m curious.. How do you take care of yourself when you’re in the midst of a transition?

I’d love to hear from you! Please respond in the comments below and share your wisdom with me and our community!

With love,

laura-haykel-signature-03


Comments

6 ways to support yourself through this common human experience — 22 Comments

  1. love your post Laura. One way to think about transitions is that they represent the boundary between stages of growth. When you’re in the midst of a period of transition it may feel like you’re stuck in ambiguity and uncertainty, which is uncomfortable. But just by recognizing- consciously- that your state of transition is moving you into a period of growth, you can see it as a positive and get strength from this knowledge and ready yourself for what lies ahead….. it works for me!!- Mara

    • Give thanks for your reflection here Mara. It is absolutely true… that simply by acknowledging what we are going through, it creates space to relate to the energies of the experience in a positive way. Thank you for the reminder 🙂

  2. Wow..thank you for such a beautiful blog today! I can totally resonate and am grateful for the reminder and inquiry. I used to spin out, during transition, “claim personal time/space” by numbing out with alcohol. Now, I go for walks, I reach out to friends, I allow myself to feel whatever discomfort, loss, excitement is coming up and do so in a way that is life-giving, not adding more stress to a situation…The more I remember to treat myself with self-love and care, the greater my vibration, and the more I am able to attract the things that I truly want…
    Sending you loads of love in your great unfolding xo

    • Aho Erika!! Yes, it is in allowing, nurturing ourselves and keeping it real that we be who we truly be and raise UP the vibration 🙂 This flow is healing for ourselves and the planet. So thankful we are journeying together in this life!! Bless UP Empress!

  3. When I’m in a transition or otherwise having an uninspired moment in my work, I use a tip from your Femme Entrepreneur group, Laura: “Do what feels light.” I look at my whiteboard (where I write to-do’s and plan next steps) and ask myself, “What feels good?” Then, I do that. It keeps my business moving and me feeling light (or at least not bogged down!). Thanks for the great advice!!

    • Mmmmhmmm.. Love it Janet! Give thanks for reminding me of the tips I’ve shared with you!! Shine ON SiSTAR and give thanks for contributing to this conversation!

  4. Whenever I encounter these uncomfortable feelings of transitioning, I carve out some “ME” time that I can spend alone near water. I have a few favorite spots: Our lovely Japanese Garden in North Buffalo…..Glen Falls in Williamsville….Erie Basin Marina @ sunrise…..or Burke’s Green Garden and Fountain @ Beard Ave/Depew Ave……The moving water is cleansing and I go at times when there is little or no hustle/bustle going on. Spending time in these places lifts my Spirit!

    • Give thanks for sharing here Karima. Absolutely… ME time is essential when feeling vulnerable and tender (as I tend to feel when I’m in transition).. and as a Gemini Sistar, being close to water does cool and calm my mind and soul 🙂 Give thanks for the reminders about all of the beautiful places to go locally to be close to water in meditation as we navigate life’s transitions!

  5. Great post, Laura! I was just coaching my boyfriend through this same thing this morning — it was like you read our minds 😉

    I find it fascinating that most of us end up in that feeling of disengagement and malaise as we’re prepping for a big shift. It’s like we need to put everything down before we can really pick things up again. From my experience, it’s a message from that a part of us is really uncomfortable with the upcoming change — be it the part that is scared and hesitant or the part that is really impatient for it to have happened yesterday.

    Your steps to self-care through the process are great, and I would just add to #2 and #6 that the discomfort often won’t end until we have truly acknowledged the part of us that is acting up. Letting go of “pushing through” or “buckling down” when we see that we’ve let some things go lax, and getting really curious about what’s going on with us — where is the pushback coming from? — can be the best solution. Honor and appreciate that part of you — he/she is likely only trying to help.

    • Ahh… life’s synchronicities Shannon! Yes, I agree… that with acknowledging the discomfort, being present with it and with the part of us that is feeling triggered by the experience, we can allow whatever is present to have the space it needs to shift, clear and transform.

      Tuning into the messages our body, mind, soul, spirit is telling us and paying attention to the signs within and without.. without judgement are all key to creating a life we love and being love in life 🙂 Give thanks for adding to this rich conversation!!

  6. This is so great Laura. I LOVE the writing and I feel SO warmed in by your writing 🙂 Like you are really sharing a part of yourself with me and us all! So empowering and special to be let in like this 🙂

    Today, I was too feeling a bit lack luster. I thought to myself, “I don’t want to get out of bed.” Then I thought, “that’s not the message I want to be sending the Universe!” So I gave myself some space, reflected, reconnected, felt unenthused and continued to follow my hearts guidance down stairs to dance and let it all go. I turned some meditative music and began to dance. I danced out the feelings I was experiencing in my heart and in my Soul and in my body and just let myself move. I turned on some different styles of music and kept moving, reminding myself to just move and be free, not thinking about it or trying to be or do anything else.

    I definitely did NOT want to exercise this morning, but you know what? After moving around for a while and getting into my body, opening up the front door and letting some fresh air and more light in, I did do my exercise routine, some stretching and some high back bends ending in a walkover out of a back bend. It was perfect and really supported me in moving through this day!

    I too am in transition, taking on some projects that are much bigger than I could have expected and I am ready and also a little scared. So today, I stuck to my schedule and took action on some big steps leading towards writing a book. So I am feeling good, empowered, more energized and now on to emails!

    Thanks for your love and inspiration 🙂

    Love, Your Twin Sista, Sarah

    • What an HONOR it is to journey with you in this life Sarah!! I am in total awe of you and am amazed at the way your life has transformed over the last 12-18 months! SHINE ON SISTAR! And you know what… it sounds like you did what was best for you yesterday. Sometimes it’s about staying in bed and giving yourself that rest and sometimes its about gettin’ to it and motivating. I love you and am so thankful for your reflections here 🙂 BLESS UP MY SISTAR!! ps… could the lack luster we both felt be because we have a jamm packed wild and wonderful Birthday celebration and then went into Monday like… Now what?!!! hahaha

  7. The conversation, or rather energy exchange, in the first Power Hour began a positive shift for me. I am grateful that your life’s work is leading you to create spaces like this to share. I am also in a transitional point in my life from pregnant/nursing and care-giving wife to productive business self that needs inner strength. The reminders of “taking back self” and “where is your fire” that came up naturally in this “intent-ful” and intensive exchange was en-lightening!~ The thoughts I carried away with me actually lightened me by serving as reminder to cultivate that creative force of fire within myself. The “light” found here happens to be a double entendre: glowing embers of illumination for my new path, but also the sloughing off of unnecessary weight. Thanks in part to this wonderful conversation, my stress is becoming less heavy, more light!

    • Ohmygosh Ginger… my heart is open and expanding as I read what you’ve shared here!!! Your contribution to the first Power Hour with Laura was palpable. You light shines sooo bright and I am HONORED to be a part of this journey with you!! So much juice in what you’re expressing in your comments. Giving sooo much thanks for your sharing here and for the opportunity to journey with you in this life 🙂

  8. Something else occurred to me today about “transitions” and the feelings I am experiencing the past few days. I can take these feelings on, own them, as if they are a part of my experience, even are me, who I am right now. Or I can notice them and create space around them so that I remain in my center, the “God” presence that I am, and allow these sensations to just move on by.

    🙂

  9. Excellent post Laura, thank you for sharing such valuable insights into self care during these inevitable transitory stages in our lives.

    You know I’m big on permission, and I firmly believe we need to give ourselves permission to alter our schedule when our energy is needed for these transitions (transformations)and also when we need that energy for healing (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual).

    One of the biggest benefits of being self employed is having the ability to manage our schedules, but anyone with PTO has some options with this as well.

    • Yes Amy Jo! I love it… Transitions = Transformations! YOU are one Radiant Goddess.. I’m so thankful to know you 🙂

  10. Thanks for sharing Laura. So honest and open to change. Some of the many things I love about you, and which make you such a powerful human being able to support others through their life transitions. Keep shifting. Keep shining.

  11. Until just a few days ago I hadn’t viewed my lack of enthusiasm and lethargy as being related to a transition. Thinking back, I should have known, because I normally transition into a new life chapter every 7 years. I’ve been resisting the upcoming chapter for quite some time, for fear of the unknown. I close my eyes and drag my feet to halt any momentum.
    I’m realizing that it’s the resistance of going forward that’s uncomfortable or pain related – not the movement itself.
    So I’m promising myself to listen more closely to my heart, lift my feet, let go, and trust the process.
    Love and thanks to you, Laura, for bringing so much to my awareness at Monday’s Femme mixer.

    • Oh wow Janice.. this is so profound. I want to acknowledge your clarity, courage and openness to discover what is truly creating the discomfort for you. I’m here for you Empress and fully believe in and am holding a vision for your greatest life’s flourishing on all levels and in all directions of time and space 🙂 Give thanks for checking in here! You’ve added light and love to my life in the short time we’ve known each other.. I’m so thankful for you!

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